Shape Sex: A Silent Film

Check out  Shape Sex: A Silent Film.  Its a film about the life of shapes.  (takes a few seconds to load)

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Mistake

Ever make a big mistake? Not like murder, or hiding someone's leg, or painting a baby for a sporting event, or pooing in a wave pool, or hiding glass in the mayo, or throwing a midget down a wishing well, or making your kid play on the Bowflex instead of taking him to the park, or shaving your cousin. Those are more errors in judgement. But sometimes u make a big mistake. A real one, that can hurt feelings. I wish they made paper towels for those mistakes. I'd buy some of those paper towels.

Business as usual

Recession Lunch

Sad sad sad.

Performing at San Diego State University, Fri. Sept 11th

Recession Lunch

Sad sad sad.

This is what I'm doing.

The sausages look a little Urban, but whatever!!

Cannibals

Cannibals.  Now those were some real motha-fuggas.  They were LEGIT.  Anyone who goes by the motto  ‘If you can’t Beat ‘em, Eat em’    is hard core.   I watch UFC guys nowadays and they are bad ass,  but not as bad ass as cannibals.   Id love to see a UFC match where the first person to finish the other person off, edibly, WINS !  Where instead of putting a guy in a leg lock, you just eat his elbows. 

 I can’t fathom living a life of cannibalism.  If your little brother pisses you off… Eat one of his fingers.  Teach him a lesson.   That’s crazy man.  That’s when you know you are for real.   Where if someone is beating you in a game of hide and go seek, eat one of their eyes.  Even the game up a little.

 I wonder if during cannibalistic time, things were similar to today. As in, wealthy families had the better people to eat, and poorer families had to eat cheap?  Like maybe you go over to your rich friend’s family hut, and they are having some Hercules, and then you come home to your weak ass broke family, and its Rhonda Roast… again!   They are having a nice hot piece of ass for dessert, and your poor crew is eating upside-down cock. 

 I would always be complaining;  Gosh Mom,  Phillipino again?  I wanted Italian, or  Not Persian!  There’s hair in the meat!    Can you imagine having Japanese for dinner, and then DRIVING?  That’s a no no for sure. 

 I bet everyone wanted to eat Mexicans. I love Mexican food.  

 

 

I SAW Whale Woman...

I saw Whale Woman.  Yes I did.  Scouts Honor (I was a Webelo).  Only a few weeks ago, I visited Stonehenge, outside of London, and there before my eyes was Whale Woman.  I’d heard rumors of her sinking boats on the Thames, wrecking docks, and blowing bubbles with Loch Ness, but I never imagined I would SEE her live, and ON LAND no less. To be certain, i even checked my Whale Woman Guide:

I was simply perusing around Stonehenge, staring at the ogglers, and photo monkey kids taking pictures smoking weed in front of the Druidish monument, obviously to title the pics ‘Stoned Henge’, on their myspaces, when there SHE was. Like a jewel in a bag of corn, like a shiny new nickel in a world of dirty cash—WHALE WOMAN.

 

She wore a purple tub-top and some weak ass gray pants.  I knew it was her b.c. she wasn’t standing upright, just as the lore tells us she can’t. She was in her typical bent position; half whale, half woman, with her water spout spewing.  I wanted to run up and take a sip, of that magical fountain of spat-tabulousness, but I didn’t know the affects of drinking straight from her back.  So I just stood there, and snapped a photo, and kept on, without telling a soul.

 If I could do it over again, I’d do it so much different.  I’d run up and hug her, and hold her and make tea from her liquid fun, and share the tea with the children of the world.  But odds are I will never see her again, so the best I can do, is share the experience with you.  Here is the photo, if you look close, like a doctor, you can see her small stream.  

The Late Sequel to 'Two Girls, One Cup'

Two Cups, No Girls