Who knew Iraq was an exfoliant ?

So I’m in Iraq performing for military.  Its been a blast, but I was not prepared for 130 degree temperatures, and SAND STORMS.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m no ‘weather-gina’. I’ve been stuck in some inclement weather.   Sure have.   Lost a tooth in a hail storm when I was nine.  Camped out in the eye of a Category 5 hurricane doing ‘Off the Cuff’ pelican rescue in Cabo San Lucas in 2001.  I lost thousands of dollars in an Ant Farm start-up that went under when Katrina hit the gulf south.   

So its easy to say that I’ve been fearful of Mother Nature’s breath and brew.  Until I came to Iraq, and got caught in a sand storm. NEVER HAS MY SKIN LOOKED SO GOOD. Sand has been flying horizontally in thirty mile per hour winds for days.  IT’S A MIRACLE.  I went for a run the other day and all of my dead skin, caloses, keloids, moles, loose morals, and external scar tissue was exfoliated off of my body.  Its UNREAL.  In just a two mile jog I look like a new born with a hematoma fetish.  Sure I’m missing an eye brow, and my kneecaps don’t work anymore, but ‘who’s counting’, right!!!   Look out Loofah,  if I can bottle this sandstorm and sell it, I’m gonna be living high on the hog !!