Remaining 2009 Schedule: Bloomington, Baton Rouge, Springfield, Los Angeles

Upcoming Gigs

Nov 7 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IN Nov 10 2009 8:00P Ontario Improv Ontario CA Nov 11 2009 10:00P Hollywood Improv (Comedy Juice Show) Hollywood CA Nov 14 2009 11:00P Hollywood Improv (Sam Tripoli Show) Hollywood CA Nov 17 2009 8:00P Irvine Improv Irvine CA Dec 10 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IL Dec 11 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IL Dec 12 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IL Dec 17 2009 7:00P Springfield Funnybone Springfield IL Dec 18 2009 7:00P Springfield Funnybone Springfield IL Dec 19 2009 7:00P Springfield Funnybone Springfield IL Dec 31 2009 8:00P Baton Rouge Funnybone Baton Rouge LA Jan 1 2010 8:00P Baton Rouge Funnybone Baton Rouge LA Jan 2 2010 8:00P Baton Rouge Funnybone Baton Rouge LA

Photo Shoot in an airport Family Bathroom

This is my first in a Series of 'Lil Dutchy' photo shoots.  This one took place in a Family Bathroom at the Indianapolis Airport, near baggage claim. 

Performing in Bloomington, IN tonight and tmrw, Nov. 6th and 7th

Performing at the Funnybone.  Check out the link:

CLICK HERE

Top 8 worst halloween costumes i saw

Top 8 worst halloween costumes i saw this year:

8.  The Devil wearing Gucci    (Lame)

7.  Fat

6.  Gay Baby

5.  Some guy dressed as a breast implant, sprung a leak at a party and got jello all over the floor

4.  a slave

3.  Some guy dressed as a lit candle burned a hole in my cousins camper awning 

2.  a bumple (a butt pimple)

1.  Dookie Man

Layover with a bunch of fake ass muthas

Currently layed-over in Memphis, flight delay, sitting at the terminal gate with a bunch of fuggin fake ass posers.  One dude is asleep. (Wake up and live, bitch!)  Look at all these whack ass muthas.  Thankfully i'm watchin Dexter on my lap-teezy.   

  

 

Balloon Boy and the Secret Fart, check it

Balloon boy.  Lied about being in a balloon.  But his daddy set him up to it.  I mean, is this that big of a crime?  To be honest, it was the most exciting thing that happened to me last week.  The best was how I found out. My buddy called me and said,

"Hey, there’s a kid stuck in a balloon over Colorado!"

And these are the 5 things responses that popped into my head:

 

1. ‘Wow, that must be some killer weed’. 

2. Really? I guess storks are feeling this recession.

3. That’s nothing, I did that in 2002 to win a new playstation and a scooter.

4. Oh yeah, but is he cute?

5. Seriously, a Kid or a fictional bear?

Now the parents are going be prosecuted. I don’t think it’s a crime really.  It was all in jest.  Sure this guy shouldn’t have his kids lying about such BS, but a lot of parents ask their kids to lie about far worse than a silly hoax.  I have a lot of friends who have lied for their parents about prostitution, drugs, embezzlement, syanide, tranquilizers, steroids, Jesus Juice, hip hop, adultery, AIDS, crafts, and all sorts of other stuff. 

If anything I think they should give the Henne family a reality show right now to see how they are struggling with hoaxing America.  Now that is a show I’d like to watch.

 The best thing is the interview on CNN, where the kid accidentally rats the family out.  I had a similar experience in my life, when I was a kid, because it is a child’s nature to tell the truth.  My instance was when our garbage disposal broke when I was kid, because my mom put a framed picture of my dad down it.  And when the plumber came, I wasn’t supposed to say anything, just say that ‘It was broken, due to natural causes’. But instead when the plumber asked me what happened, I said flat out, “My Mom tried to dispose of my Dad,” and I explained what had happened. 

 

But back to the Henne’s.  The funniest thing about the video, is right after the kid confesses, you can hear someone in the family FART. Its because they knew the cat was out of the bag, and someone got nervous, but its so hard to figure out WHO.  Check it out and see what I mean.  Its really low, so you gotta listen.  

Girl

Girl

Took my eyes

my thoughts, my lies

took my Time

each tick, each tock

into your pocket

i wasn't  mine.

I just lived inside myself

sharing the space 

with all i thought you were. 

Fall Schedule w/updates

Upcoming Gigs

Oct 10 2009 8:00P Truman State University kirksville MO Oct 15 2009 7:30P Room 5 (above Amalfi restaurant on La Brea) Los Angeles CA Oct 16 2009 8:00P Arlington Hyenas Arlington TX Oct 17 2009 8:00P Arlington Hyenas Arlington TX Oct 23 2009 7:00P Ft. Worth Hyena’s Comedy Ft. Worth TX Oct 24 2009 8:00P Ft. Worth Hyena’s Comedy Ft. Worth TX Oct 28 2009 7:00P University of Kentucky lexington KY Nov 5 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IN Nov 6 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IN Nov 7 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IN Nov 10 2009 8:00P Ontario Improv Ontario CA Nov 11 2009 10:00P Hollywood Improv (Comedy Juice Show) Hollywood CA Nov 14 2009 11:00P Hollywood Improv (Sam Tripoli Show) Hollywood CA Nov 17 2009 8:00P Irvine Improv Irvine CA Dec 10 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IL Dec 11 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IL Dec 12 2009 8:00P Bloomington Funnybone Bloomington IL Dec 17 2009 7:00P Springfield Funnybone Springfield IL Dec 18 2009 7:00P Springfield Funnybone Springfield IL Dec 19 2009 7:00P Springfield Funnybone Springfield IL

Animals are better at some things... check out this commercial i did

Everything is Big in Texas

Look at these parking spots. The biggest ones I've ever seen !!!

That's some BIG parking Texas.